Being connected all the time has its positives and negatives, and unfortunately one of those negatives is our susceptibility to start measuring ourselves against the achievements (self-proclaimed or otherwise) of others. It is very important to nip comparisonitis in business before it starts having an impact on your self-love, confidence and decision making.
Here’s how to do it:
Remember your WHY
When I made the decision to start The Modern Day Living and publish it as a magazine, I was met with a lot of fear and doubt. People felt the need to point out to me that print was a dying industry, using all other magazines and newspapers as a reference. With that kind of feedback, it was hard not to feel deflated and start making comparisons.
However, I knew deep down that this was the way I wanted to progress and pursue my passion for working with and helping mothers. The thought of someone reading The Modern Day Living (something I created from scratch) and as a result feeling like bad-ass, amazing, stylish woman AND mum all-in-one, that’s what kept me going. When you’re chasing that inspired feeling, that creativity or purpose – that WHY – you are so excited that you forget everyone else. No more comparisons!
We often write down our goals or creative ideas and then forget about them. To remember your ‘why’ – revisit and rewrite your purpose and vision as much as possible.
Like many other modern women, there have been stages of my life when I have found myself stuck in scroll-town. It is so easy to forget that people only post their best bits or highlight reel on social media. Most people won’t show you the screaming baby, the rejection letters, the piles of washing, overdue bills or unproductive afternoons spent watching Netflix instead of “hustling” away at their business.
If you do find yourself starting to compare your personal or business life to someone on social media – LOG OFF. Stop telling yourself that you need to keep an eye on your competition or be on top of the latest influencer goss – you don’t. A couple of days aren’t going to hurt!
Take this time to brainstorm ALL of the amazing things you think you “could” do – if only someone else hasn’t done it first, done it better or failed to try to do it. Now switch “could” into “will”. You WILL do those amazing things if you break free from your comparisons!
Don’t Be Scared to Fail
When Lisa Messenger announced that she was shutting down ‘The Collective’ – right while I was in the final stages of organizing my magazine launch – I freaked out. For a few seconds, minutes… okay, maybe half an hour… I sat there thinking oh my god! If she can’t do it, why am I even trying?! But if there’s one thing I have learned through building The Modern Day Living Magazine, it’s that you have to embrace the unknown. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel terrible, and that’s because when we compare ourselves – especially in business – we are feeling afraid of failure.
How many times have you been told that there is no such thing as a failure, just a lesson? And how many times have you ACTUALLY taken that phrase to heart and implemented it in your own mindset? Changing the way you view failure will ultimately stop “comparisonitis” right in its tracks – because you are removing the fuel (fear) from the fire.
Write down the worst case scenario that could occur from you taking action (e.g. starting a business). You can be dramatic. Once that’s done, start writing down what you would actually do if it happened. How would you respond? How would you continue? 99% of the time it’s actually really easy to brainstorm how you will get of a nightmarish situation.
Example: A common fear is running out of money – especially losing money in something perceived as risky, like a business. But hey… if your business isn’t generating money and you desperately need an income to survive – cut your expenses and apply for a job!
Once you have faced your fears like this, confidence will start flowing more readily, and you will stop feeling the need to compare yourself to the successes and failures of others.
With no more negative comparisons, you can get on with building the business and life of your dreams.
What’s stopping you?