Wondering how to love being single and why it even matters?
Take a minute and ask yourself what you love about being single, what comes to mind? Are you drawing a blank?
When all your friends have started coupling off and having kids, it can be easy to feel like you’ve become the third wheel in your group or the last woman standing amongst a sea of loved-up couples. It’s at times like these it can be hard to find the joy in being single and remember why being single is actually a time to cherish.
Here are three things to love about your single status.
Knowing yourself is the path to self-mastery
Being single allows us the time and space to truly get in touch with who we are and feel in control of our lives. I’m not talking about the surface level stuff like my favorite food is a massaman curry and I really love a good Agatha Christie novel. I’m talking about the knowing and appreciation we can have for ourselves when we focus on our own personal growth and development. What does that even mean? Let me explain.
Here are some example questions to focus on knowing yourself.
What did you learn about love and what’s a healthy relationship for you?
List your values, what are the top 5 things that matter most to you?
Do you know your non-negotiable or deal breakers in a relationship?
What are your goals where you are right now and how do you see those evolving?
Who are you, or how do you describe yourself as an individual outside of a relationship?
What are the areas in your life that you want to work on to improve?
When we know the answers to these questions we’re able to have a sense of who we are. When we know who we are we can feel confident about what we want to attract in our future partner. In short, it means we’ve reached a level of comfortability and confidence within ourselves. The added bonus is that when we know who we are, we also know who is going to compliment us, we are more easily able to attract in the right relationships that feel deeply satisfying and aligned.
Freedom, the world is your oyster
Being single allows us a freedom that many couples and families cant afford. The commitments of everyday life in our later years means there’s often less time for the experiences we want to have or they prove to be more challenging to achieve with the responsibilities we have.
Using your time as a single person effectively, means you have the freedom to choose travel, learn a new skill, change careers and focus more on the things that you enjoy and that matter to you. This is the time in your life where you don’t have to answer to anyone, except yourself. You can be unashamedly selfish and embrace all of your passions. If that’s not delightful I don’t know what else is. Just ask any of your married friends, if they wouldn’t jump at the chance to plan that last minute trip overseas or spend a lazy Sunday in bed kid-free. The world is your oyster!
This is your time and you have the opportunity to put it to good use. There will be plenty of time in the future, to spend as a couple and as a family if you choose. Enjoy these moments for what they are, a way to be present, connected and free with yourself.
Loving yourself first
Let me tell me why being single is really about you learning the skills around what it takes to really love someone else.
There will never be a more challenging yet significant relationship to match the one you have with yourself. I say this because we can all relate to the challenges that come with loving and accepting ourselves completely.
During our time being single, we learn a lot about how to love. We learn how to give ourselves the pep talks. We learn what it means to be happy and how to DO happily. Regardless of whether were with someone or not. Eventually, we figure out how to stop struggling with comparison and telling ourselves were not good enough. We learn to give ourselves the love, kindness, and compassion we so easily give to other people.
Ultimately we learn how to receive love from ourselves first. Gradually we come to accept that we don’t need the love of another person to tell us were worthy. We know we are enough just as we are. A relationship adds to our happiness but is not the reason for it. Yes, during your time being single you’re building the ultimate foundation of loving who you are first.
Embracing these three things means you can learn how to love being single. So when the right person does come along your going to be in the best place possible to create an aligned and deeply satisfying partnership. So walk the path to knowing yourself, savor your moments of freedom and know you are never truly alone.