Procrastination has many faces. Preparing dinner and leaving the dishes for later. Or I do the dishes, but I don’t clean the sink and the stove. So when I walk into my kitchen the next morning, it does not feel ready for a brand new day. It seems small, but the impact of procrastination is huge.
Every time I don’t do a certain task or activity or I don’t complete something in full, it means that I bring it into my next moment. It can be something small or big, the impact is the same. By not completing every moment, I carry that moment with me, sometimes for weeks or months. It is this dragging and the nagging feeling that comes with repetitive thoughts that come and go.
I will do it tomorrow I tell myself. But who am I kidding?
I am quite an expert when it comes to going into a delay, but over the last couple of months, I consciously made the choice to break this pattern. Pattern? It’s more an addiction and avoidance of taking responsibility. I am great at telling myself I will do something tomorrow or that I just don’t feel like doing it right now. When tomorrow presents itself in full glory and with lots of space, I tell myself I will really do it tomorrow. And so I end up doing a simple task like fill in a form, completing a payment, sending an invoice or renewing my Norton subscription at a much later time than the moment I actually felt impulsed to do it.
I am learning there is a moment for everything and it is actually my body who tells me this. My body gets impulsed to do something, for instance writing a blog as this idea to write about something comes through. When I listen to it and sit down and write, It’s written within half an hour, sometimes less. When I don’t follow the impulse and I let myself get distracted by Facebook, making something else more important or come up with some excuses, I wake up the next morning with an unwritten blog in my bed.
Procrastination is a choice
Procrastination is a choice, a deliberate choice that I use to stop evolve and bring myself in full into the next moment. It is an avoidance of completing every moment and just obey what is needed to be done. The silly thing is: when I do the task, let’s say fill in a form or bring my shoes to the shoemaker (o.k, I haven’t done that one yet….), it takes me only a couple of minutes. Gosh, have I seriously gone into a delay for a couple of weeks while in fact it only took me 5 minutes to complete it?
Step by step, I do more and more what is needed, at the moment. Guess what? It feels great. No to-do lists, no annoying thoughts that keep coming back, more presence and more energy. I can actually do more in a day. Why wait and go into delay? In the end, I delay my own evolution. Last week I went into delay again and waited until the last minute to write an article. Yesterday I sat down, did some research, wrote it and emailed it. I felt so much more spacious afterwards, a space that feels open and ready to receive the what is next.
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